As human beings, we may from time-to-time, fall into certain situations not of our own design but due to happenstance. Accidents occur and whether a “happy” accident or not, we must deal with the new situation. Yet rarely do we ever fall into a planned action. We don’t just wake up in the shower nor do we simply “appear” at work or playing a sport. We plan for those actions.
Previously, I wrote a blog article about seeking motivation. I am convinced the majority of us are motivated more so by the “stick”, that is to say, the avoidance of pain than the carrot, or pleasure. We are more animated to take action when we must.
A failure to pursue the next step in life or work doesn’t make one lazy, but rather complacent. That is to say, humans find themselves at a benchmark goal for which we previously strived and attained. But it’s a comfort zone. That zone may not be bad if it were not for the fact that the universe never stops swirling. Time, circumstances and lives all change at some point.
Typically, it is better for our own psyche and emotional well-being if we are the ones to initiate that change by taking actions that move us in the new direction. Then, we at least feel we are in control. Perhaps the biggest motivator itself is that of seeking control. Correct or not, we think being in control gives us security.
Complacency aside, there are boundaries we have set to establish a parameter of safety. Call it a mobile comfort zone. “I’m willing to change, but only so much. I will do this but not that”. Some of these ideological walls are due to our upbringing, our work culture, incidents in our past or just erroneous assumptions. But does the universe respect those boundaries?
Many of those barriers impede us more than they provide security. And we need to give ourselves permission to move beyond them. Exactly what those restrictions are is somewhat different from one person to the next, but I have identified three which many of us share. These are not obstacles of skill, rather hindrances to our understanding and growth.
Permission to Prioritize. Give a hundred people the same twelve tasks to execute and you will see a hundred different lists of the order in which they should be accomplished. Even people of the same mindset have slightly different views of what is most important. But pursuing a goal can be very motivating if it’s the right one.
I tell sales managers to stop setting objectives for their sales representatives. A rep will smile and nod as though their monthly mandate is of vital importance to them, but it is not. Keeping a job is vitally important but they couldn’t give two rips about their quota. People don’t move toward a goal unless it is theirs.
Permission to Fail. Perfectionism is the death of innovation. Still, most people are afraid to make mistakes, especially in front of others. But trial and error is how we move forward. Nothing great was ever created without setbacks, so be alright with them when they occur.
Most setbacks are temporary and rarely are they as extreme as we initially believe them to be. Each failure is just a new challenge to overcome that brings us closer to our intended goal. Learn from them.
Permission to Evolve. There are those who feel threatened by the successes of someone else in the room. But motivation and growth is a personal journey which does not need the permission of others. In fact, we are the only ones who can truly motivate ourselves.
Anyone who laughs at the failures of others, has never tried anything great themselves. There will always be those who tear others down because they are afraid to pursue their own dreams. Pay them no mind and leave them to their own misery.
When it comes to personal growth, YOU are solely responsible. Not your friends, your boss or even your family. Those are relationships you maintain, but they are not YOU. If you feel your growth is stunted, it is because YOU valued the opinions of others to your own. Perhaps THAT is a good place to begin giving yourself permission.
©2025 The text of this article is an original work and written without the aid of artificial intelligence. Blaine Little is an author, coach and public speaker as well as the Founder & CEO of Momentum Seminars Training & Coaching. For more information about our professional development services, visit www.MomentumSeminars.com