Now, how does that snappy little quip about preparedness go? "HOPE for the best, but PREPARE for the worst!" This saying has been attributed to Maya Angelou, but I could swear the sentiment has been around for centuries. Nonetheless, the originator is providing a two-pronged strategy. But why is it that we tend to forget the first part of that maxim?
It may be that the latter part, the doom and gloom part, consumes all our concentration. After all, can we really expect our minds to think in two completely different ways simultaneously? Well, yes. But typically, if we focus all our effort looking under rocks to uncover potential booby traps in our lives, we may never take the time to enjoy the proverbial flowers.
First, understand that anxiety is actually there for good reason. It's a survival mechanism. We are constantly looking for an alternate ending, a way out, or at least a really good lie if we think we are approaching a calamite. Anxiety motivates us to seek options when it comes to saving our relationships, being fired, not getting mugged, or just talking our way out of a traffic ticket.
Self-preservation itself is not bad so long as it is not at the expense of others. However, many of us get stuck in a defensive position. We are always watching out for the next big financial pitfall or social jackpot. Our minds take in billions of bits of information every day. The great majority of that data has no bearing on our lives whatsoever. Nonetheless, there is a lot to sift through, which consumes our time.
Without a doubt, negative self-talk will manifest itself into a bad attitude, limiting beliefs and even a poor outlook about ourselves. Some of that talk is our own recent creation and some of it has played every day since we were small children. So, why is this little inner PA system always playing? With the exception to deep-seated emotional issues, there are two main reasons, we are comfortable with what is familiar and silence scares us.
Yep, that's pretty much it. Trusting in the way things have always been done is far better than looking inward at ourselves. Have you ever known someone in a co-dependent relationship? Rationale would dictate they leave an abusive entanglement, but they stay due to a fear of the unknown or even possibly being alone. Perhaps we should keep hope as our priority.
Fear of the unknown robs us of our joy. Think of times when you fret over possible negative outcomes. Are they typically as bleak as you imagined? Sometimes, but if you were honest and made a list, most of those nightmares never came to life. While you were WAITING for the future to roll around, were you happy or sad and depressed? What a waste of energy!
Far more important than dwelling on unrealistic negatives is how to move forward searching for positive outcomes. This takes adjusting our own attitudes toward… well, everything. This is nothing that can be done by anyone else for you. Not a psychologist, minister, your boss, your parents, your spouse, board-certified magician, or the HR lady. Sorry, not even a “motivational speaker” can help you with this one. It is something the individual must do for themselves.
So, the next time you are about to freak out over what MIGHT happen, take the time to prepare for the worst situation, but don’t admit defeat. Be in the moment and also prepare for a positive outcome. Life is always shifting and what we believe to be a setback may just be a new starting place.